


My Inspiration, My Muse

by bellarkegriffin_blake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Art, Bellarke, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt Clarke, bellarke angst, first art show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18926956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarkegriffin_blake/pseuds/bellarkegriffin_blake
Summary: Clarke has a week until her first art premiere. She is getting everything ready when someone from college gets double booked at her venue. She must face her past and either be civil or spiteful. Who knows, maybe something even greater will blossom from her problems?





	1. Old Faces

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how long this is going to go, but I have way more to write. Stick with me, this should be good (hopefully).

One week. That is all Clarke has to wait until her very first art show. She has a dozen pieces that will be public, and she can’t tell if she is more excited or nervous. She has been working on these paintings since she started studying art at Arkadia University and finished the last one about six months ago, when she graduated with her art degree. Her chosen venue is a cheap rental hall that is used for anything from art shows to local yoga classes. 

“You couldn’t have gotten any place better to show off your mad art skills?” Clarke hears a voice from behind her say. She turns around and Raven is there holding two cups of coffee. She is so lost in thought that she doesn't hear her come in the squeaky door. 

“This is all I could afford right now,” Clarke replies with a sigh. She knows it’s not ideal, but she refuses to let it bring her down. At least it is happening. 

“Couldn’t you ask your mom-” 

“No. I will not ask her for anything. It was bad enough being the daughter of a board member at Arkadia, I will not start off my art career with her name tied to this show.” Clarke and Abby have a difficult relationship. Since the death of her father, which was back in high school, her mother became more and more distant, so Clarke eventually stopped trying. And to make matters worse, her mother joined the board of trustees when she got accepted, so nobody thought that she had any talent or intelligence to get into the school, only connections.

~~~~~~~~~~

_It’s the second week of Clarke’s freshman year at Arkadia University. She is sitting in her advanced art class that consists of mostly upperclassman. The teacher starts roll call and quickly gets to her name, “Clarke Griffin?”_

_“Here,” she responds, expecting to hear the next name._

_“Are you by any chance related to Abby Griffin on the board of trustees?” the teacher asks._

_Clarke considers lying, but it’s not that hard to google her mother and figure out that she is, in fact, her daughter. “Yes. She is my mother.” She hears a few people muffle their laughter, but the professor continues roll call._

_Later in the class, a girl approaches Clarke. “Hey, is it true that your mom is on the board?”_

_She already knows where this is going. “Yup. Didn’t you hear me earlier?”_

_“So that’s how you got into an advanced art class as a freshman?”_

_And the shoe drops. “No. I got in because I’m good. Apparently, I am better than you.” Clarke doesn’t usually bite back to a person she just met, but she is not going to let everyone think she is here because her mother pulled some strings._

~~~~~~~~~~

Raven’s voice snapped her back to reality when she says, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s get this place organized.” 

“I don’t have to have my pieces in until a couple days before the show.” 

“I know, but don’t you want to be at least a little prepared?” 

“Touché,” Clarke huffs. She scratches her head and looks around. “Well the first one should be closer to the entrance. That way people can come in and be pulled to the pieces right away. And I also want to put them in order by dominant color so that the color from the preceding painting seems to bleed into the next one.” 

“Good thinking, I guess. I would be more helpful if I knew more about art,” Raven says to Clarke, smiling. “See you tonight at eight?” 

Before she could refuse, Raven is gone. It’s not that Clarke doesn't want to hang out with her friends from school, because they are together at least once a week. She wants to say no because she has a lot to prepare for. She has to make sure all her paintings are accounted for, write little descriptions for each one, figure out which order to put them in, and more that she probably hasn’t thought of yet. On the other hand, she knows she needs a stress reliever, so even if Raven hadn’t left, she probably wouldn’t have refused. 

Back at her apartment, she stares into her closet. All she sees are blacks, grays, and whites. Anything cute and colorful doesn’t fit anymore. It’s only five o’clock, so she decides to go down the street to a nice clothing store. When she walks in the door, she doesn’t know where to start. It would help to know where they were going out, but Raven left before she could ask. After roaming the store for an hour and a half, she spots a light red dress hanging in the corner. Cute, reasonably priced, and modest without being Amish. 

She buys the dress and goes back home. Now it’s a little after seven, so she decides it’s time to get ready. Clarke eyes the dress she bought. She can’t believe she got a brand-new dress just to hang out with her friends. Reluctantly, she takes it off the hanger and pulls it over her head. As soon as she feels the soft material gently surround her body, she steps over to her full-length mirror and gapes at her own reflection. “I should dress up more often,” she mutters to herself. 

It’s finally 8. Time to get this over with. Raven picks her up right on time, as usual, but also has Jasper and Monty in the back seat. “Where are we headed?” Clarke asks Raven. 

“You will know when we get there,” she replies, mysteriously. 

“Raven, I told you I don’t like new places. And since when has been our night on the town been such a secret.” 

“Ye of little faith,” Monty pipes up from behind. She doesn’t think she will get any more information, so she stays quiet. Twenty minutes of music blaring and bad singing later, Raven pulls up to Clarke’s favorite club, Polis. 

“Ok, so we aren’t anywhere new, so why the secrecy?” Clarke asks the group, still confused. 

“You will know when we go inside. Relax, Clarke,” Jasper says. Clarke’s sighs in response but goes in anyway. 

“SURPRISE!” So many voices scream at Clarke when she steps through the door that she isn’t sure who is all there. She looks around the room and sees all her friends from school. Raven, Jasper, and Monty go over and join Harper, Murphy, and Emori. Clarke walks over to that group and gives each person a hug. 

“How did you pull this off? There are some people I don’t even know in here!” 

“That’s because not everyone knows who you are. We just told them to yell when you walked in the door,” Harper says. 

“Is this for my art show?” The dots finally connect in Clarke’s head. 

“No,” Murphy starts, “it’s for the bartender’s birthday. We thought yelling ‘surprise’ at you would make the most sense to celebrate her.” 

“You guy’s shouldn’t have. It’s not that big of deal.” 

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Raven exclaimed. “Not every artist gets a career started as young as you, so don’t waste this.” 

“Well, thank you. All of you.” 

Emori comes up beside Clarke and puts her elbow on her shoulder. “Not everybody is here yet, so don’t get too comfortable.” 

“And by ‘don’t get too comfortable’ she means have a few drinks. You deserve them,” Murphy says as he pulls Emori off Clarke and towards the dance floor. He says something else under his breath, something about needing the drinks, but she didn’t catch all of it. 

One hour, three drinks, five dances, and a little flirting with the bartender, Lexa, later, the door opens to a group of people that Clarke recognizes again. In comes Wells, Niylah, Roan, Lincoln and Octavia. Octavia hangs around in the doorway, though, as if she is waiting for someone. Wells rushes up to her at the bar, gives her a huge hug, and twirls her around. 

“Congrats on the show!” He practically shouts it in her ear because the music has gotten so loud. 

“Thanks! I can’t wait for you to see it!” Clarke wants to keep talking to him but gets distracted by Octavia still standing by the door. “Hey, Wells, why is Octavia not coming in?” 

“Oh, she’s just waiting for---,” he cuts himself off. “I need a drink.” 

“What the hell is all this secrecy?” 

Just then, she sees Octavia move away from the door. Behind her, though, is a face that she never wanted to see again. 

~~~~~~~~~~

_After nearly two months of absolute bliss, Bellamy invites Clarke over to his apartment. When he opens the door, she moves right in, gives him a hug and then kisses him firmly on the lips. She knows something is wrong when he turns, pushes her away, and closes the door. Without preamble, without warning, he breaks up with her._

_“Bellamy, please don’t do this. Everything is so perfect,” Clarke says, on the verge of tears._

_“I have to. There is no other way around it.” He can’t even look at Clarke._

_“Why? I don’t understand and it’s so sudden! Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?”_

_“Clarke, you did absolutely nothing wrong,” he huffs, but she can see there is more he isn’t telling her._

_“Then just tell me what the problem is! I know our situation isn’t ideal right now but give it time and we can be like normal couples!”_

_“Stop. Please, just...stop. We are over Clarke, so I think you should just leave.”_

_Clarke is sobbing now. “Fine I will go, but this is your last chance. Let’s wait it out, because we can make it. But if you tell me to go again, I will go,” she has to take a moment to finish, “but I will not come back. And I will never want to see you again.”_

_“Go.”_

_So, Clarke walks out the door, trying to cope with the fact that she will never see her true love again._

~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing here?” She doesn't even know she walked up to him until his face is right in front of hers. 

“Um, Octavia wouldn’t stop bugging me until I came. I tried saying no because I knew you wouldn’t want me here.” She knows he is telling the truth, mostly because Octavia definitely works until she gets her way. 

“Yet, here you are.” Clarke is seething. 

“I promise I will stay in the shadows.” 

Now she feels guilty. “Ugh, you can’t be in a club and stay in the shadows. You will look like a creep. Try to have fun, just don’t come near me. “ 

Without letting him respond, she turns back towards the bar. She must have been holding her breath because once she gets there, she releases a very long exhalation. 

“Old ex problems?” Without looking up, Clarke knows it’s Lexa behind the counter. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” 

“How can you have an ex? From what I know about you, you are incredibly caring and smart, and not to mention very sexy.” Clarke is somewhat surprised at the flirtation. She was flirting with her earlier, but she didn’t expect it to go on. She looks over to where Bellamy is standing. He is looking away now, but she knows he was looking only seconds before. So, she gets an idea. 

“And from what I know about you, you are all those things, and also loves to have fun.” She flips Lexa and enticing smile and says, “What time do you get off?” 

“In an hour or so. Reason why you are asking?” 

“I think you know why. My place or yours?” 

Lexa bites her lip, then says, “Yours will do.” 

“Perfect. See you then.” Clarke winks as she walks away. 

She thought she was over Bellamy, but seeing him tonight, it all came back. She isn’t usually a person to hurt another intentionally, but by going home with Lexa, she hopes to accomplish two things: Get over Bellamy, and maybe hurt him just a little. Besides, she doesn’t expect to see him anymore after tonight, so it shouldn’t be a problem anymore. In a few days she will be setting up for her very first art show, so this night will be forgotten and replaced by better memories.


	2. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is setting up for the upcoming show, but Bellamy shows up again which causes problems. But at least she finds out why he broke her heart.

Three days. Her show is getting so close, she can barely contain her excitement. It’s actually making it harder to sleep at night. Clarke knows she doesn’t have to set up her pieces until the day before, but she is so impatient, and bored, that she decides to do it today. When she gets to her venue, she looks at the open space and visualizes every painting where she plans on placing it. She sees the line of people out the door and herself walking around the floor talking to them while getting their feedback. Imagining her success gives herself goosebumps. 

It only takes her twenty minutes to bring her things inside. From there, she leans each painting where she wants it to go to make sure they are exactly how she wants them. As soon as they look like they did in her head, she moves each one onto their easels. The last step for her to complete is placing the descriptions with each one. These paragraphs were difficult to write for Clarke. Every painting has such a deep meaning that it was hard to get it all down in something that could be quickly read. All of them are centered around one part of her life and represents the different emotions of it she went through. 

Clarke is giving a last look at each piece before getting some lunch when she hears the doors open behind her. She assumes it’s Raven because she is the only one that knows she is here right now, so she says, “Can you believe it’s almost here, Raven?” When the only response she gets is halted footsteps, she turns around, and her heart stops beating. Standing there in the doorway, holding a box of identical books, is none other than Bellamy Blake. Again. 

“So not only do you show up to the party my friends threw me, but now you randomly show up to my art show three days early? What are you trying to accomplish?” Clarke sounds more confused than angry, which is not what she intends. 

“To be fair, they are our friends. And, I did not intend to show up to your art show at all. I’m actually here to set up for my own gig.” he responds. 

“Your own...gig?” 

“Yeah. I wrote a book and I guess people liked it. The book signing event is in three days.” Bellamy looks around the room as if it’s the first time he is noticing his surroundings. “How long until your show?” 

“Three days. I’m assuming you think your signing is in this very place, too?” Clarke is realizing the predicament they are in, and she doesn’t not like it one bit. 

“I don’t think. I know. And I already have a ton of advertising for this venue. People will be showing up expecting me to sign their book, not look at paintings.” He pauses for a second. “Very beautiful ones, I might add.” 

Clarke blushes at the praise, but it doesn’t take away from her situation. “I also have advertising out and absolutely no other place to do this in my budget.” 

“Come on, Princess. This is my big break. You can’t hate me that much.” Clarke knows how important this is to Bellamy, but that’s not exactly her responsibility anymore. 

“First of all, don’t call me that.” He flinches at the ice in her tone. “Secondly, what about me? Are you really that selfish? Besides, you already took away my happiness for the past two and half years, now you want to stall my career?” 

“You know that’s not what I want to do,” he replies quietly. A silence forms between the two, but Bellamy breaks it by saying, “Can I take you to lunch? I really need to talk to you.” 

“No. I can’t. I told Raven I would have lunch with her.” With that, Clarke rushes out the door. She never expected to have Bellamy appear in her life again, and now that he is, it is causing her to feel things for him that she never wanted to feel again. She couldn’t even last a few hours after she saw him the night of the party. 

~~~~~~~~~~

_It’s the morning after Clarke’s surprise party, and she is lying in bed next to Lexa, who is still sound asleep. She had a great time with the beauty next to her, but all she could think about was Bellamy. At one point during the night, she thought it was him against her back, not Lexa. She wanted so much for Lexa to change her feelings for him, but it didn’t work. Clarke twists to lay on her side and faces Lexa. She starts stirring, and eventually wakes up. “Good morning,” she says to Clarke while also yawning._

_“I’m sorry,” Clarke says quietly and looks down. She feels a finger under her chin and her head being raised up._

_“It’s okay.” That was not what Clarke expected to hear._

_“How did you know what-”_

_“I saw the way you two interacted at the party. He never took his eyes off you the entire night. And, even though you were pissed, yours always found him again, too.”_

_“That’s not true,” Clarke denies, but she doesn’t sound very convinced of herself._

_“I’m a bartender. I notice a lot.”_

_“I didn’t intend to hurt you. And I really do feel bad for using you like this. I needed to know if I was over him. I thought I was but turns out I may not be.”_

_Lexa laughs. “I am not hurt. I would be more hurt if you said I was bad in bed.”_

_“Well, that’s not true at all. You were wonderful.”_

_“Why don’t you go tell him how you feel?” Lexa inquires._

_Clarke tells her about their past and the way he broke up with her. She tells her how in love they were and how uncharacteristic it was of Bellamy to do what he did._

_“Did you ever try to figure out why he did it so abruptly?” She asks Clarke._

_“I tried asking around our friends, but they had no clue either. And there was no way I was going back to him to ask. I couldn’t do it.”_

_“Were there any other weird behaviors after the breakup? You_ were _a student dating her TA.”_

_“I mean, he stopped paying attention to me in class, but I thought that was normal.” Clarke’s brows knit together as she thinks._

_Lexa gets out of bed and puts her clothes on. “I would love to keep helping you through this, but I have to get back to Polis. I sincerely hope you figure out what he means to you, and even more, what you mean to him.”_

_Now Clarke is even more confused, because it sounds like Lexa understands her situation way more than she does herself._

~~~~~~~~~~

Thinking about what Lexa said, she decides to go back inside, and she finds Bellamy roaming around the floor looking at her paintings. 

“Fine. You can take me to lunch, but only because we need to discuss how to handle our little problem,” Clarke tells him. She also wants him to tell her what happened. She can handle it. 

“Where do you want to go? Is Olive Garden still your favorite?” He knows it is but is trying to warm her up a little. 

“That works. Let’s go.” Clarke walks out the door and to her own car. Bellamy looks like he wants to say something, but he decides to keep his mouth shut and not press his luck and walks to his car. 

When they get to the restaurant, they get seated at a small two-person table and get handed a couple menus. They stay silent for a while, order some drinks and then Bellamy speaks up saying, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day.” 

Clarke raises her menu higher to hide the pink rising in her cheeks. “I’ve decided to let you have an area in the hall for your book signing. We just have to find a good place that won’t disrupt the flow of people.” 

“Clarke, please.” She finally gets the nerve to look at him, but she can feel the slightest itch of tears forming at the corner of her eyes. 

“What do you want to hear? It’s okay? It’s not. You broke my heart and I couldn’t get out of bed for a week.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says with his eyes looking at the table. 

“I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry.’ I want to know why.” 

“I can’t tell you that.” Bellamy moves to take her hand, but she pulls away. 

“Then I guess all we have to discuss is what corner I am going to shove you in three days from now, and then forget about you all over again.” 

“Don’t say that. Clarke, I love-,” he starts. 

“No!” she whispers violently at him, so she doesn’t make a scene. “Don’t _you_ say _that_!”

She sits there and stares at him. His eyes are pleading with her to listen, and God knows she wants to. But she also wants to protect herself from the whirlpool of hurt she felt when he left her the first time. 

“I can’t help it. It’s true.” 

“I’m out of here,” Clarke says as she gets up and walks out of Olive Garden. She thought she could handle it, but she can’t. Bellamy lays money on the table to cover the drinks and rushes after her. She is almost to her car, so he hurries up. He doesn’t want her to leave without her hearing what he has to say. 

Clarke reaches for her car handle, but Bellamy’s hand stops it from opening. She turns around, leans back against the door, crosses her arms, and stares at him. 

“I never wanted to do that to you. I was in love with you, and nothing was ever going to change that.” 

“Until something did.” 

“No. Nothing changed it.” Bellamy stops and Clarke doesn’t think he will start again, so she shoves his hand from her door and moves to open it. “Wait. What happened is... I found a letter in my mailbox. Apparently, someone found out about us and threatened to turn you in to the board. There was no way I was going to let anything happen to you and your education. I didn’t care if I got fired, but I was not risking your career.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me instead of breaking up with me? We could have hidden it better, or even taken a mutual ‘break’. We only had to wait until the semester was over!” Clarke is angry. Not only at Bellamy for not telling her what happened, but also at herself for not realizing something deeper. 

“This person wouldn’t have let it go, even if I wasn’t your teacher anymore.” As he says this, Clarke notices that he is keeping his eyes away from hers on purpose. 

“After all this, you are still holding out on me?” 

“It was your mother.” 

All the air left her lungs. No. She and her mother have barely interacted since her father died in high school. Why would she have an interest in her life now? And why ruin something that clearly made her happy? What would be the benefit of her mother doing this? Clarke gets chills that she knows isn’t only coming from the slight breeze in this parking lot. 

“Why would she do that to me? Not only did she take away the one of the only things that made me happy, but she also endangered my career as much as I was doing it myself.” She knows he probably doesn’t have the answer, but she asks anyways. 

“Maybe she was bluffing, but I was not going to take that chance.” Bellamy looks up at her again and shifts to rest his hand on her cheek. He pauses midair, expecting for her to move or bat his hand away. When she doesn’t, he continues his action and says, “Clarke Griffin, I am truly sorry for everything I put you through. I don’t know what her goal was, but I am sorry for what she did, too. And after our events, you will never see me again, no matter how much Octavia bugs me.” 

Saying all he needed to say, he removes his hand from her face and turns to go to his own car. But he is stopped by her grip around his wrist. She guides him back to face her again. Before he can find anything else to say, she plants her lips on his. She missed the way he feels and the way they mold to each other’s bodies, as if they haven’t been separated for nearly three years. His hands find a way back to her hair and she pulls him close as she leans back against her door. After what seems like an hour, Clarke breaks off the kiss. 

“I missed that. I missed _you_ ,” she tells him. Bellamy returns the sentiment without words by giving her a big, strong hug. 

While her cheek is resting on his chest, she says, “I need to know why she did it. Are you with me?” 

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't expect the story to happen the way it did, but I think it worked out. It only occurred to me after I was done that what Bellamy did here was very similar to what Wells did to protect her relationship with her mother. Obviously it's not exactly the same since they don't have a relationship here, but it's kind of close. Anyways, I hope you liked it and the next chapter should be up sooner than this one was.


	3. Working Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy come together to dissolve their problems.

Clarke and Bellamy pull up to Abby Griffin’s house an hour after their parking lot conversation, but instead of going into the driveway, Clarke hides her car down the street. If their plan was going to work, her mother couldn’t know she was there. Bellamy followed Clarke there, so he is the one that gets the driveway. As soon as he parks his car, he gets his phone and calls Clarke. 

“Are you sure you are ready for this?” he asks her. 

“Yeah. I need to know. Follow the plan and once I hear why she did it, I will be in.” 

“Alright. Let‘s do this.” 

Clarke hopes this works. Bellamy is going to keep her on the line throughout the entire conversation he has with her mother so she can hear every word. She hopes his phone doesn’t disconnect or he doesn’t accidentally hang up. She knows she will have to possibly strain to hear what is happening because it will most likely be in his pocket, but she is ready. So far, she has only heard static and the rustle of movement through her speaker, but then she hears a couple knocks on the door followed by the creak of it swinging open. 

“Bellamy Blake? What are you doing at my house?” The crackle of the phone is distorting, but she can still that she is very surprised. 

“I came to tell you that what you forced me to do to your daughter was wrong. We were in love and I can’t believe you did that to her.” Bellamy’s voice is low and gruff. He is trying to intimidate her. 

“You two were the wrong ones! I mean, my daughter dating her teacher? I never taught her that.” 

“So you ruin her life? You potentially ruin her education? What kind of mother does that?” 

“A mother that doesn’t want her daughter to be in a socially unacceptable relationship! Who wants her to have friends and professional relationships to advance her career! And a mother that wants to keep her job. If anyone found out that you two were an item, I would have been outed because they would have assumed I knew about it and didn’t report it.” 

Clarke stopped breathing. This is it? This is why she broke them up? For her own personal reasons. Of course. She opens her door and is about to run into the house, but she hears Bellamy’s voice again. That wasn’t the plan. 

“You have no idea the pain you put her through, do you? She said she couldn’t get out of bed for a week.” 

“You were only together for two months...” her mother honestly sounds confused. 

“And you have no idea how those were the best two months of my life. Clarke was an amazing girlfriend. She loved me and I loved her. She did everything that made me happy and I made damn well sure that I returned the favor. She told me about her dad and what happened to your relationship afterwards. I told her about my own dysfunctional family and instead of feeling sorry for me, she kissed me and told me everything was okay now. I needed that, and no one, besides my sister, ever made me feel like my life was okay. Clarke saved me, and she deserved every bit of love that was given her. What she didn’t deserve was what you forced upon her.” 

Clarke can barely contain the tears so she decides it’s time to go inside. Once there, her mom gives a little gasp. She looks between Clarke and Bellamy, trying to figure out how they did it. Slowly, Bellamy pulls out his phone from his jacket pocket. 

“I can’t believe you did that to me mom!” If Clarke thought she was mad at Bellamy earlier, she is completely livid now. “And it wasn’t even for my sake, only for your own personal gain!” 

“Clarke, if I didn’t stop it, you could have been expelled! Not to mention Bellamy would have gotten fired.” 

“Don’t do that! Don’t blame everyone else besides yourself. You could have talked to me. I know our relationship sucks, but this seems important enough to reconnect.” 

“What does it even matter now.” Abby looks between them again. “You are clearly back together.” 

“What-what does it matter? Obviously, you don’t really care about me if you haven’t figured that out by now. We are done, mom. I don’t want to see you at my art show, and never again after that.” Clarke’s tears spill over as she walks out the door. 

“Clarke, wait-” She is cut off by the door banging shut by Bellamy’s hand. 

When they get to her car, he immediately gives pulls her to him and lets her soak his shirt with her tears. “It’s okay, Clarke. Everything will be better. It’s hard to cut someone out like that, but she clearly had no interest in your well-being anymore.” 

“Thank you, Bellamy. Not just for saying that. But for the last things you said to her before I went in.” 

“It was all true. I will never regret falling in love with you, even as my student.” 

“Bellamy Blake, I love you so much.” She stretches up and gives him a soft, gentle kiss. He returns it with the same tenderness. 

“And I love you, too. Now all we have to do is decide which corner of the hall you are going to shove me in during your show.” He laughs and she playfully slugs him on the shoulder. 

“Congrats, by the way. I have been so busy being mad at you, and my mom, that I haven’t told you that yet. That’s an incredible accomplishment.” 

Bellamy’s smiles ear to ear at the compliment. “Thanks, Princess.” 

“So do you want to come over, watch a movie, and catch up on the past two and a half years of our life?” Clarke asks. 

“That sounds fantastic,” he replies, and his eyes get a devilish flare in them paired with a quirk of his lips. They both know what “catching up” entails. 

 

THREE DAYS LATER 

 

Bellamy and Clarke arrive at the hall six hours before the events start. Not only because they still haven’t decided where to set his station up, but also because he wants to share something with him. They walk inside and he starts talking, she assumes it’s about where he should be, but she can’t hear him over the thrum of nerves in her ears. Next thing she knows is Bellamy’s face directly in front of hers. 

“Hey, Clarke. You alright?” he asks with a little wave in front of her face. 

“I’m just... I want to show you my paintings, but I’m nervous.” 

“Not to be a buzz kill, but I have looked at all of them already,” he says. 

“You have seen them, but do you understand?” He is silent and knits his brows together, so she continues. “These first few are from when we first started dating.” She shows him the pieces that express happiness and delight. One of them was of a boy and a girl holding hands but facing away from each other and talking to other people. “This describes how we were a secret. How only us knew we were together, but the people we talked to had no idea. It was hard, but it was good.” 

Clarke moves on to the next set of paintings. “The next few are from... from the breakup.” She can’t see his reaction, but she can feel him tense up from behind her. The one that stands out the most is the one with the same girl from before, but she is all distorted and in pieces. “I felt so broken after you left me. I painted these pretty much right after it happened.” 

Bellamy, still behind her, rests his hands on her shoulders and leans to kiss her temple. “I am so sorry, Princess.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” she responds and leans back into him. “Eventually, I got into the depression phase, which explains the next couple.” They were a pair of paintings that showed the girl hiding behind a smiling mask while doing everyday things, like going to class or shopping. Clarke has been very careful not to look back at Bellamy because if she did, she would lose it. She almost does even by the near silent sniffle he makes. 

“And finally, here are the ones that I created when I started to feel myself again.” The girl, like the one from the distorted and broken painting, is stitching herself up in one. In another she is gathered by friends and removing the mask. 

After she is done explaining every painting and the emotions she felt while painting them, Bellamy turned her to face him and rested his forehead on hers. “There is nothing in this world I regret more than that day.” 

“Look on the bright side, Bell. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have this art show right now. I would’ve been okay not having to go through everything I did, but it all lead to this moment.” 

“I see your point, I do, but I have no doubt in my mind that you would have had other paintings to show. Why did you decide to show all of these incredibly emotionally triggering pieces?” 

“I guess it was part of that last set,” she admits. “Me putting these out for the world to see was a part of recovery for me. I never would have imagined us getting back together and me shutting my mother out of my life.” 

Bellamy takes her hand and guides her over to his stacks of books. “I guess it’s time to show you my version of painting my feelings.” 

When they get to the books, Clarke picks one up. “The Red Queen.” Sounds familiar. 

~~~~~~~~~~

_It is junior year of college and Clarke decides to try and broaden her artistic horizon by taking a creative writing class. She has never been as interested in, or as good as, writing as she is in painting, but she thought this would help her write more descriptively about her paintings. Maybe it would even help her with new creations. Who knew?_

_When she walks into class the very first day, she notices all the girls sitting towards the front. Because of that, she has to sit near the back. She gets out her computer and opens to a new document for notes. Then she hears his voice._

_“Hello, everyone. My name is professor Blake. But to be fair, I’m only a TA, so I’m only a few years older than most of you. Welcome to Creative Writing,” he says. It is gruff and incredibly sexy. But while the sound of it is completely appealing by itself, it doesn’t compare to the person it belongs to._

_His face, his beautiful olive face, is covered in a thin sheet of freckles. His hair is a dark brown with untamed curls and slightly reach over his eyes of the same color. He is muscular without looking like a bodybuilder. He is wearing a dark gray long sleeve Henley that hugs his muscles but isn’t too small. To go with his shirt is a very nice pair of dark blue jeans that accentuates parts of him that brings a blush to Clarke’s cheeks. Now she is officially jealous of the girls sitting up front._

_A few weeks go by, and it’s time to turn in their first writing project, a fictional story. Clarke goes up to turn in the assignment when she trips over someone’s bag._

_“Here, let me help you with that.”_

_She looks up and sees Professor Blake’s face a foot away from her own. He grabs her computer, thankfully it’s not broken, and her story. Suddenly, seeing the papers in his hands, she feels unready for it to be turned in. She knows she can’t turn it in later, but there is something different from handing it in and him picking it up off the floor._

_“This looks interesting. ‘The Red Queen’ by Clarke Griffin.” He holds out his hand to Clarke, and she takes it. They stand up together but don’t let go of each other’s hands when they are upright again. “Nice to meet you, Clarke.”_

_Clarke is silent for a second, but eventually replies, “Nice to meet you, too.” She knows they have been “shaking hands” for too long, so she breaks the contact. Trying to say something, all Clarke comes up with is, “I guess I will see you tomorrow?”_

_“I guess you will. Until tomorrow.”_

_She doesn’t think he stopped looking at her since she fell, so she is the one that turns and walks away. She catches him say something under his breath that sounds like, “Looking forward to it.”_

~~~~~~~~~~

Clarke gives Bellamy a joking frown. “Should I be suing for copyright reasons?” 

“I guess you could, but you should look at the Acknowledgements first.” Clarke turns to the back of the book and smiles. 

“’The very first person, and most important person, I have to thank for this story is the love of my life,'” she reads aloud. “'If you ever pick up this book, you may find that it’s named after something you wrote a while back. My ultimate gift to you is developing your story into this book. I may have messed up, but know that this is your accomplishment as much as mine.’ Oh, Bellamy.” Clarke is crying again. Damn, she is tired of crying today. “I can’t believe you did this.” 

“That being said, I guess you could also be signing this book tonight.” 

“I appreciate it, but it’s yours. I won’t take credit for something I didn’t even know existed until today three days ago.” Clarke backs up and looks him up and down. “We have four hours until the event. We should go get ready.” 

“We haven’t put my books anywhere, yet.” 

“My paintings only need three walls. You can have the fourth one. The people will walk in and if they are hear for my paintings, they will go left. If they are here for your book, right. And if they want both, they can go all the way around.” 

“A long way from shoving me in a corner, huh?” he jokes. 

“Maybe a little.” 

They shift all of her paintings to the left so the entire wall to the right of the door is free. Then they set up his table and books to his liking and look at the finished room. Bellamy puts his arm around her shoulder and says, “Tonight is going to be great.” 

“I agree. Let’s go get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last one and it will be short. Thanks for reading!


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke host their events together and one last secret comes out from hiding.

Clarke stands by the door waiting for people to walk in. She is incredibly nervous but doesn’t want to be overbearing. It’s five minutes to four so she thought someone would have at least shown up early to wait outside the doors. Bellamy, sitting relaxed at his table, notices how Clarke is shaking in anticipation, so he gets up to go comfort her. 

“Are you ready for this?” he asks. 

“Of course, I’m ready, but it’s still nerve-wracking,” she responds while fidgeting with her shaky hands. 

Bellamy takes her hands and brings them up to his chest. “You should roam around the room and fix any little things if they need them. It will keep you busy, and besides, a watched pot never boils.” 

“I guess you are right. How are you doing? This is just as big of day for you as it is for me.” 

“Not going to lie, I’m nervous, but all I have to do is sign the books.” He truly looks relieved to Clarke. 

“We can do this,” she says to him and then gives him a light peck on the lips. At 4:05, the first person walks in. Clarke feels the urge to run up to her and give her a big hug, but she knows that would be unprofessional. Instead, she walks to her, shakes her hand, and thanks her for coming. 

It’s slow at first with only ten people in the room after a half an hour. Clarke starts to get worried, but she thinks of all the work she did to get here. This was meant to happen, and even better, it brought her and Bellamy back together, so everything will work out. And she is right. After the first hour, people are lined up outside the door. 

Clarke walks around the room and talks to everyone she can. People ask her about the meaning of some of her work. She doesn’t explain how the girl in each painting is herself but describes the whole set as a journey through a rough life experience. If she had to say any more than that, she might break down, and she doesn’t want that to happen. 

At around 8:00, which is an hour before the show is over, Raven comes through the doors. She all but runs up to Clarke and gives her a huge hug. When she releases Clarke, she is giving her a wide, toothy smile and glances between her and Bellamy. That strikes Clarke as strange, but her thoughts get cut off when Raven starts talking. 

“Clarke, this is amazing! I am so happy for you!” she exclaims. “How is Bellamy’s part turning out?” 

“Thanks! And I haven’t had the time to go over and check on him, but he seems to be having as good of a turnout as I am.” 

“That’s good. I’m glad for the both of you,” she says with another weird grin on her face. 

Now it’s time for her to ask questions. “Raven, why are you acting so funny?” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she says nonchalantly. 

“I don’t believe you, so I will ask again later, and I expect the truth. I still have an hour of talking to other people.” She knows people won’t come in as steadily for the whole remaining hour, but she has to be ready just in case. 

She is right. In a half an hour, the place is nearly empty with no one else at the door. Clarke is talking with one of the two people left when she sees Bellamy and Raven packing up his remaining books. She walks up to the last person in the room and thanks him for coming. 

“I’m glad I came,” he says. “Is there any way to buy one of these magnificent pieces?” 

Clarke gives him the information he needs and then nearly shoves him out the door. It’s been a long day and specifically, an even longer, emotional week. As excited as she was for this show, she is glad the stress of it is over. Now all she has to do is wait for offers to come in on her pieces. When the door is shut, she locks it behind him and walks over to Bellamy’s table. 

“How did you come out, tonight?” she asks him with a small kiss on his cheek after. 

“Pretty, well I think, but I think you got me beat.” 

“Oh, Bell. There is no way to tell who was here for what. I think we were both very successful tonight.” 

“You’re right, Princess,” he sighs. He pulls her to his chest and plants a kiss to her forehead. They stay like that for a moment, but when Clarke opens her eyes, Raven is standing there, staring at them. They part from each other and Bellamy crosses his arms while Clarke folds her hands in front of her. 

“Do you need something, Raven?” Clarke asks her. 

“So, you know my boyfriend, right?” 

Clarke is confused as to why she brings him up because they have been dating for months already, but she goes with it and replies, “Of course I know him. We have all hung out with him.” 

“But do you know where he works part time for extra money?” 

“No. I didn’t know he worked another part time job.” Clarke still has no idea why Raven brought any of this up. 

“Well it’s here. He works here and does all the scheduling for the place.” 

A light bulb explodes inside Clarke’s head, and by the look she found on Bellamy’s face, the same thing happened to him. “So, he booked the two of us on the same night? And I bet you had absolutely nothing to do with it?” 

“I may have had some input as to what he should do,” she says. If she is sorry about it, she doesn’t show it. 

Now Bellamy pipes up and says, “So you did it even though you knew how much she hated me at the time? How much I hurt her?” 

“Oh, come on. I knew you wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t absolutely have to. And I found out exactly why you had to.”

~~~~~~~~~~

_Raven is walking to class one day, which is over in the engineering cluster of campus, and decides to try out a shortcut. She has time before it starts, so she thinks, why not? As she figures out her route, she finds herself crossing by the building Bellamy’s office is in. They haven’t been friends long, but she has known about him for a while. Raven became friends with Octavia last semester, so she was introduced to him then. More importantly, though, Bellamy is Clarke’s new secret boyfriend. Raven thinks it would be nice to drop in and say hi, so she goes into his building._

_When she walks in, she goes straight towards the offices to find his. On her way, she glances to the right which is where all the professor’s mailboxes are. What she finds in there confuses her. Inserting a small envelope into Bellamy’s box is Abby Griffin._ What the hell, _she thinks. As soon as it’s in, Abby glances up and a look of panic crosses her face. Next thing Raven knows, Abby is gone, and Bellamy is standing at his mailbox. He opens it and sees the strange piece of mail. He looks up and glances around, Raven is careful not to be seen, and opens the letter. It must be a short one because not ten seconds later, he bows his head and rubs his forehead. She has a pretty good idea what was in that damn letter, so she runs out the door and finds Abby walking away._

_“What the hell did you do?” she practically yells at Abby when she catches up to her._

_“What are you talking about,” Abby says. Her voice is the same monotonous tone she always had, but Raven can tell she is hiding something._

_“What was in that letter?”_

_“That is taking control of a situation that never should have happened in the first place.”_

_“You have no idea, do you?” Raven starts. “They are in love. They are perfect for each other, and you are going to ruin both of their lives.”_

_“She will be fine,” Abby huffs. She has no emotion in her voice that makes Raven think she regrets any of it._

_“Eventually, she will get better. But you are the one creating a situation that doesn’t need to happen. Why can’t you leave them alone?” Raven throws her hands up with her last question._

_“Because what they are doing is wrong! And I will not let her ruin my, and her, career over some boy!”_

_“So, as usual, your biggest concern is you.” Raven thinks of one last thing to make it sting. “If your husband were still alive, I have a hard time believing you would be doing this. At least Jake actually cared about Clarke.”_

_When Raven sees her reaction to this statement, she turns and starts walking back to class. She might not make it on time, now, but she doesn’t care. Besides, she has to tell Clarke what her mother did so Bellamy doesn’t break up with her. She pulls out her phone to do just that, but she hears Abby’s voice again._

_“If you tell Clarke anything, I will make sure you never graduate. It will be on the grounds of knowing about a teacher-student relationship and not reporting it. You might think that I can’t do it, but you will learn that I can be very persuasive.”_

_Raven turns back around to face her. “I don’t care. What you are doing is wrong.” She tells Abby that, but deep down, she knows it would be stupid to risk it._

_“I know you care about her, but I know you care about your education and career, too. Just remember that I warned you. So, think about it. Either they break up and you all continue like nothing happened, or you tell Clarke and all three of you are done.” With that, she walks away and leaves Raven standing there._

_Raven knows she should tell Clarke and Bellamy, but she can’t risk all of them losing their job/education. She hates herself for it, but she also knows they wouldn’t want her to be punished for doing nothing wrong. She finally decides that the best thing she can do is be there for both of them when the shit hits the fan. She settles with her decision and walks to her class, which she is ten minutes late for._

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you knew about this the entire time? Every time I called you in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep, you didn’t tell me?” Clarke asks Raven. Clarke is on the verge of tears again but holds them in for now. 

“And every time you came over with food was to secretly check up on me?” Bellamy asks. 

“Look I know you might be mad, but I couldn’t tell you. I wasn’t risking it for all of us. That may be selfish, but I don’t care.” she responds to both questions. 

“We aren’t mad,” Clarke and Bellamy say at the same time. Clarke finishes by saying, “You were right. We wouldn’t have wanting you to get in trouble for our relationship. What matters now is that you got us back together.” 

“I couldn’t agree more,” Bellamy says as he places his arm around Clarke’s waist and pulls her close. 

“I want to say I can’t believe my mother would do that, but I have already gone through that phase. Now I am just pissed. At least I cut her out of my life already.” 

Raven looks surprised and asks, “You did what?” 

“Yeah. After Bell told me everything, we went to her house and confronted her about all of it.” Clarke tells Raven everything her mom said and how they got her to admit it all. 

“Damn. That was smart of you both.” 

“It was all Clarke’s idea,” Bellamy says. 

“I needed the truth, and I doubt she would have said anything if I had asked her myself.” 

“The important thing now is that she is gone, we are back together, and now you don’t have to keep your secret anymore. Let’s go home. This has been quite the week.” 

They all walk out to the parking lot and say goodbye. Raven leaves for her apartment, and Clarke and Bellamy go to hers. Clarke can’t wait to be with him in public and never have to hide anything anymore. They can finally love each other with no secrets or threats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, folks, it's done. I have got to say that is in no way how I intended the story to go, but I think it went okay? I guess that happens some times. I hope you liked it, and feedback is always welcome!


End file.
